You know you live in Jordan when…

  1. You don’t remember the last time you parked your own car because you are forced to valet EVERYWHERE (even if there’s an open spot in front of the place you’re going).
valet parking
“That’ll be 2 JD, shukran!”

2. You’ve run over far too many of the concrete slabs to separate parking spaces.

parking spacer amman

3. Your car undergoes daily bomb inspections before entering any parking structure.

trunk check amman
Mirror, mirror on a pole, who’s the safest car of all?

4. Neighbors get creative to make sure no one parks in front of their house.

amman no parking

5. Road lanes are not meant to go on either side of the car, but rather right down the middle.

drive down middle of road

6. Roundabouts have absolutely no rules except for “fill the empty space”.

roundabouts in amman

7. Any lane is acceptable to make a left turn from.

bad driving turns amman

8. It’s a well-known fact that Hyundai Avante drivers are the worst drivers.

hyundai avante amman bad drivers

9. The underside of your front bumper is scratched from all the times you’ve bottomed-out due to the speed bumps being camouflaged into the asphalt.

speed bump sign amman
Thanks for the warning, but how about painting the speed bump too?

10. You can no longer count the amount of times you’ve nearly run someone over because even a busy highway is fair game to jaywalk.

jaywalking
Only the weak use footbridges.

11. “Pimp my ride” has a new meaning – brightly painted wood paneling, complete with flower designs.

jordan decorated truck

12. You can’t get through a conversation in Arabic without using/hearing a word in English because Arabglish (Arabic + English) is a second official language.

arabglish

13. “Yani” can be thrown into the middle of any sentence, no matter what language the person is speaking in.

hani-elmulki

14. Family names are the most important piece of information. No exceptions.

family name jordan approved

15. The worst offense is to threaten to step on someone’s head.

Pressure

16. You know khalas has 100 different meanings.

khalas

17. 1 JD for a falafel sandwich is considered expensive.

al-quds-falafel-amman
1 JD can buy happiness

18. At first glance the restaurant looks cheap… until you add the 16% tax and 10% service, that is.

jordan tax restaurant
Looks can be deceiving they say…

19. The idea of walking somewhere, no matter how close it is, will warrant you a very strange look.

no walking in jordan

20. You do try to walk somewhere and realize either there is no sidewalk or, if the sidewalk does exist, it’s not for walking but rather a place to plant trees or place poles.

sidewalks in amman

21. Restaurants will have smoking and non-smoking sections, but they will be right next to each other.

smoke free amman
“No Smoking”… only if you are actually touching the column

22. Highway roadsides are the most popular place for a picnic on the weekend.

picnic roadside jordan
Nothing like a picnic outside with the smell of fresh…gasoline?

23. Military humvees (complete with huge machine guns) are just your every day, side of the road and roundabout decoration.

humvee military jordan

24. Trash cans look like they’re made out of scrap metal circa WWI.

amman trash bins

25. Sheep run the world.

sheep in amman
Ever heard of suburban sheep?

26. Bathrooms always give you numerous options…

soap sanitizer jordan
Hand soap or hand sanitizer?
paper towel hand dryer jordan
Paper towels or air dryer?

27. Every toilet (both at private residences and in public places) comes equipped with a butt hose.

butt hose jordan
It’s not there to water the lawn…

28. All establishments must have at least one portrait of the Jordanian Royal family on the walls.

royal family jordan wall framed
Would you guys like fries with that?

29. The best way to show how patriotic you are is by plastering it all over your car.

hashemite kingdom jordan car decal

30. Flags are never in shortage.

flags on road jordan

31. You risk electrocution on a daily basis because you never have the right plug.

jordanian plug problems
Well this doesn’t look safe…

32. The dumbest question you can ask at the supermarket is “Excuse me, do you have cucumbers?”

cucumbers jordan

33. You have experienced the joy of being attacked by 1,000 flies at once. Double that number if you’re at the Dead Sea in October or November.

flies in jordan
Yogurt with flies. The perfect combination.

34. The silver vans sparkle in the sunlight.

sparkly decal amman
Shine bright like a diamond…

35. Rugs aren’t just for praying, but they’re great for blocking the driver’s side sun as well.

rug window shade amman taxi
Now I understand why people are such bad drivers…too many blind spots

36. Seatbelt laws aren’t actually enforced.

backseat truck kids amman
When there’s not even a seat, no need for a seatbelt!

37. Every trashcan/dumpster either has bread on the ground next to it, or hanging from a plastic bag outside of it

jordan bread next to trash
If you get caught throwing away khobiz you’ll get a “ya harammmm!”

3 thoughts on “You know you live in Jordan when…

  1. You forgot to add few other facts:
    1. The scenery of trash in every street.
    2. The aroma of gutters.and human waste.
    3. Sidewalks and pavements that are used as parking spaces forcing pedestrians to walk on road some of which really busy and dangerous.
    4. The constant of stomach churning spitting in public.

    There are more but we will leave it at that.

    Like

    1. Hi Louis,
      Well yes, there is a lot of trash in the streets and many other things that can be changed for the better, but I tried to keep the post a bit more light-hearted about this country I call home now 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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