- You don’t remember the last time you parked your own car because you are forced to valet EVERYWHERE (even if there’s an open spot in front of the place you’re going).
2. You’ve run over far too many of the concrete slabs to separate parking spaces.
3. Your car undergoes daily bomb inspections before entering any parking structure.
4. Neighbors get creative to make sure no one parks in front of their house.
5. Road lanes are not meant to go on either side of the car, but rather right down the middle.
6. Roundabouts have absolutely no rules except for “fill the empty space”.
7. Any lane is acceptable to make a left turn from.
8. It’s a well-known fact that Hyundai Avante drivers are the worst drivers.
9. The underside of your front bumper is scratched from all the times you’ve bottomed-out due to the speed bumps being camouflaged into the asphalt.
10. You can no longer count the amount of times you’ve nearly run someone over because even a busy highway is fair game to jaywalk.
11. “Pimp my ride” has a new meaning – brightly painted wood paneling, complete with flower designs.
12. You can’t get through a conversation in Arabic without using/hearing a word in English because Arabglish (Arabic + English) is a second official language.
13. “Yani” can be thrown into the middle of any sentence, no matter what language the person is speaking in.
14. Family names are the most important piece of information. No exceptions.
15. The worst offense is to threaten to step on someone’s head.
16. You know khalas has 100 different meanings.
17. 1 JD for a falafel sandwich is considered expensive.
18. At first glance the restaurant looks cheap… until you add the 16% tax and 10% service, that is.
19. The idea of walking somewhere, no matter how close it is, will warrant you a very strange look.
20. You do try to walk somewhere and realize either there is no sidewalk or, if the sidewalk does exist, it’s not for walking but rather a place to plant trees or place poles.
21. Restaurants will have smoking and non-smoking sections, but they will be right next to each other.
22. Highway roadsides are the most popular place for a picnic on the weekend.
23. Military humvees (complete with huge machine guns) are just your every day, side of the road and roundabout decoration.
24. Trash cans look like they’re made out of scrap metal circa WWI.
25. Sheep run the world.
26. Bathrooms always give you numerous options…
27. Every toilet (both at private residences and in public places) comes equipped with a butt hose.
28. All establishments must have at least one portrait of the Jordanian Royal family on the walls.
29. The best way to show how patriotic you are is by plastering it all over your car.
30. Flags are never in shortage.
31. You risk electrocution on a daily basis because you never have the right plug.
32. The dumbest question you can ask at the supermarket is “Excuse me, do you have cucumbers?”
33. You have experienced the joy of being attacked by 1,000 flies at once. Double that number if you’re at the Dead Sea in October or November.
34. The silver vans sparkle in the sunlight.
35. Rugs aren’t just for praying, but they’re great for blocking the driver’s side sun as well.
36. Seatbelt laws aren’t actually enforced.
37. Every trashcan/dumpster either has bread on the ground next to it, or hanging from a plastic bag outside of it
You forgot to add few other facts:
1. The scenery of trash in every street.
2. The aroma of gutters.and human waste.
3. Sidewalks and pavements that are used as parking spaces forcing pedestrians to walk on road some of which really busy and dangerous.
4. The constant of stomach churning spitting in public.
There are more but we will leave it at that.
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Hi Louis,
Well yes, there is a lot of trash in the streets and many other things that can be changed for the better, but I tried to keep the post a bit more light-hearted about this country I call home now 🙂
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The “hose” in the bathroom is not a “Butt hose”……it is to clean for wudu….to clean thoroughly before prayer and the bread on the streets near the garbage is not because they are lazy or littering – it is old bread to feed the animals – mostly herds. Better to feed them than let it go to waste. The only time I smelled “sewage” is in downtown Amman by the Ampitheater – that is because the main sewer line runs under that area for the entire city. Downtown Amman is an OLD city – very congested – not unlike NYC….but if you travel to the “upper Circles” to Abdoun or Shmisani etc, you will find very cosmopolitan areas….ALL cities have the best points and their not so best points….. The most important piece missing is how gracious and welcoming the people are
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Girl, it’s definitely a hose for the butt! That hose is not used for cleaning before prayer.
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We look for that hose in the West for a reason….
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